


hamilosers™: the next generation

by damnveeddiggs



Series: hamilosers™: the next generation [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, I suck at tagging, M/M, Texting, asexual stephen, but so is theo so its all good fam, frances probably has chronic depression sigh, lucy jefferson is gay as fuck, oh btw sally hemings doesn't exist in this au, philip and frances joke about suicide but that's about it, philip is a smol dork bean, so tjeffs jr is the legitimate child of thomas and martha, stephen and georges are nonbinary, the hamilsquad 2.0 are back and in full force fam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7795096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnveeddiggs/pseuds/damnveeddiggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>just a collection of text messages i imagine that they send to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. embarrassing phip

**Author's Note:**

> i love texting fics so i made my own lol
> 
> theodosia is Cool™ = Theodosia Burr Alston = Theodosia Burr  
> phip = Philip Hamilton  
> oui oui mon ami = Frances "France" Laurens  
> la faguette = Georges Washington de La Fayette  
> william mulligan = William Mulligan (p self explanatory lol)  
> tjeffs 2.0 = Thomas Jefferson Jr.  
> jackyboy = John "Jacky" Payne Todd  
> stevo = Stephen van Rensselaer IV

_**theodosia is Cool™ >> phip, oui oui mon ami, la faguette, william mulligan, stevo** _

**theodosia is Cool™** : hAMILTON  
**phip** : BURR  
**phip** : what do you want  
**theodosia is Cool™** : you ;)  
**phip** : .  
**phip** : i'll be right over  
**la faguette** : hello friends could you not arrange your sexcapades on our gc thnx  
**william mulligan** : ^  
**oui oui mon ami** : ^^  
**stevo** : ^^^  
**phip** : okay i can understand will and frances  
**phip** : but why the fuck is stephen in the gc  
**stevo** : i'm your cousin tf  
**phip** : ....exactly

_**stevo** was removed from the chat_

**theodosia is Cool™** : oh my god phil that was such a dick move  
**oui oui mon ami** : ^  
**william mulligan** : ^^  
**la faguette** : ^^^  
**theodosia is Cool™** : apologize or i will personally stick my pedicured foot up your entire ass and i don't care if my mom is downstairs  
**william mulligan** : why are you texting if you're in the same room is it not easier to speak aloud  
**phip** : yea but it means y'all's get to see our arguments  
**oui oui mon ami** : "y'all's"

_**oui oui mon ami** changed the chat name to **y'all's**_

**phip** : i know our dads were probably really gay for each other but i really hate you frances laurens  
**oui oui mon ami** : ditto fuckface  
**phip** : frances is a stupid name  
**oui oui mon ami** : tell me philip how does it feel knowing that ur parents were sO FUCKING UNORIGINAL that they named u after ur GRANDPA  
**phip** : spoiler alert: fuck you frances  
**oui oui mon ami** : and besides at least ~i~ didn't fuck my lil sister's teddy bear and pass it off as cream  
**la faguette** : WHAT  
**william mulligan** : WHAT  
**theodosia is Cool™** : WAIT WHAT  
**theodosia is Cool™** : APOLOGISE AND THEN FRANCES TELL US THE FULL STORY  
**phip** : NO  
**theodosia is Cool™** : philip hamilton if you don't apologize to stephen right now i swear i will break up with you  
**theodosia is Cool™** : _**[philapologizing.jpeg]**_  
**la faguette** : lol  
**la faguette** : FRANCES TELL USSSS  
**oui oui mon ami** : yeah so basically when phil was 12 he discovered what sex was?? and he wanted to try it out so he got poor angelica's stuffed teddy and ripped a hole in it then fucked it lol  
**william mulligan** : nASTY ASS  
**oui oui mon ami** : that's not even the best bit son so apparently he came inside the damn thing and just KICKED IT ONTO THE FLOOR ??? and then later when aunt eliza and uncle alex were trying to get angie to sleep, she kept screaming for her teddy and he had to go get it and try to explain that he was doing a lil experiment  
**la faguette** : sexperiment more like  
**la faguette** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**oui oui mon ami** : and to this day nobody shuts up about it, like every time i come round they remind me

_**oui oui mon ami** was removed from the chat_

**theodosia is Cool™** : no

_**oui oui mon ami** was added to the chat_

**oui oui mon ami** : real dick move phil  
**phip** : d IE  
**phip** : KILL YOURSELF  
**oui oui mon ami** : i've tried boo  
**phip** : .  
**theodosia is Cool™** : .  
**la faguette** : .  
**william mulligan** : .  
**oui oui mon ami** : lol that got dark rq  
**oui oui mon ami** : heyo friendos while we're on the subject of removing and adding people to the chat, mind if i add my new boyf and his friend ??  
**phip** : no  
**theodosia is Cool™** : YES  
**william mulligan** : YES  
**la faguette** : YES FUCK OFF PHIL  
**oui oui mon ami** : lol nice

_**tjeffs 2.0** was added to the chat_  
_**jackyboy** was added to the chat_

**oui oui mon ami** : hey bae  
**tjeffs 2.0** : hey babe  
**oui oui mon ami** : hello useless fuckchild  
**jackyboy** : hi frances  
**theodosia is Cool™** : well frances care to explain who these two are  
**william mulligan** : ^  
**la faguette** : ^^  
**oui oui mon ami** : o yea sure lol  
**oui oui mon ami** : jackyboy is the useless and downright stupid idiot, john payne todd  
**william mulligan** : wait your mom married james madison right  
**jackyboy** : yeah  
**phip** : oh no  
**oui oui mon ami** : and tjeffs 2.0 is my ~boyfriend~, thomas jefferson jr  
**oui oui mon ami** : son of thomas and martha jefferson  
**theodosia is Cool™** : WAIT  
**theodosia is Cool™** : YOUR DAD IS /THE/ THOMAS JEFFERSON ??¿!  
**la faguette** : governor of virginia and alexander hamilton's worst enemy ??  
**tjeffs 2.0** : yeah that's him lol  
**phip** : OH FUCK NO

_**phip** has left the chat_


	2. frances' birthday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slight angst towards the end.
> 
> oui oui mon ami = best of wives and best of women = Frances "France" Laurens  
> lucifer = best of girls and best of gays = Lucy Elizabeth Jefferson  
> la faguette = bread = Georges Washington de La Fayette  
> william mulligan = butter = William Mulligan  
> phip = Philip Hamilton  
> theodosia is Cool™ = Theodosia "Theo" Burr  
> tjeffs 2.0 = Thomas Jefferson Jr.  
> stevo = Stephen van Rensselaer IV  
> ~and kitty~ = Catharine "Kitty" Schuyler Church  
> jackyboy = John "Jacky" Payne Todd

_**oui oui mon ami >> theodosia is Cool™, jackyboy, phip, lucifer, la faguette, william mulligan, stevo, tjeffs 2.0** _

**oui oui mon ami** : BITCHEZZZ  
**oui oui mon ami** : AS YOU ALL KNOW IT IS MY 19TH BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS SATURDAY  
**oui oui mon ami** : YOU ARE ALL INVITED  
**jackyboy** : oh hey frances

_**jackyboy** was removed from the chat_

**oui oui mon ami** : EVERYBODY BUT JOHN IS INVITED  
**oui oui mon ami** : TO A MASSIVE FUCKING DRINK UP AT MINE IT'S FINNA BE LIT MY PARENTS WON'T BE HOME WHO'S IN  
**tjeffs 2.0** : bae of course  
**theodosia is Cool™** : OH HELL YES  
**phip** : YUPPPP  
**lucifer** : if Tom is going then I have to go?  
**tjeffs 2.0** : no you don't ew  
**oui oui mon ami** : thomas leave my dearest alone i love her  
**lucifer** : best of wives and best of women<3

_**oui oui mon ami** changed name to **best of wives and best of women**_

**best of wives and best of women** : best of girls and best of gays<3

_**lucifer** changed name to **best of girls and best of gays**_

_**best of girls and best of gays** changed chat name to **lucy &francesforever**_

**best of wives and best of women:** princess  <3 xoxo  
**best of wives and best of women** : okay so that's tjeffs, ﾟ+*:;;:* my dearest, lucy *:;;:*+ﾟ, theo and philip who else lol  
**stevo** : !  
**best of wives and best of women** : wHERE THE FUCK  
**best of wives and best of women** : oh wait it's stephen no i actually like you yeah u can come lol

_**la faguette** changed name to **bread**_  
_**william mulligan** changed name to **butter**_

**best of girls and best of gays** : you two disgust me  
**tjeffs 2.0** : ^  
**phip** : ^^  
**butter** : but lol we're in  
**bread** : whatever my prince says (◠‿◠✿)  
**theodosia is Cool™** : fucking ew  
**butter** : i love u princess (◔ᴥ◔)  
**bread** : i love you more daddy (✾♛‿♛)ノ*♡*  
**phip** : i love theo  
**theodosia is Cool™** : i'd love a vodka and tonic rn  
**best of wives and best of women** : i'm going to be physically sick  
**bread** : i wish you were here daddyyy (ﾉ≧ڡ≦)  
**best of girls and best of gays** : frances pls

_**bread** was removed from the chat_  
_**butter** has left the chat_

**best of wives and best of women** : cut off the head and the body shall die  
**phip** : finally  
**stevo** : ^  
**phip** : u know just cause ur my cousin it doesn't mean i have to like u  
**theodosia is Cool™** : _**[dontbefuckingrudekim.gif]**_  
**stevo** : lol so anyway  
**tjeffs 2.0** : guys can i say something quickly??  
**best of wives and best of women** : k  
**theodosia is Cool™** : ok  
**best of girls and best of gays** : no  
**stevo** : yeah  
**phip** : ew  
**tjeffs 2.0** : 3 to 2, outvoted :)  
**best of girls and best of gays** : :(  
**tjeffs 2.0** : philip...  
**stevo** : gotta zayn ! 

_**stevo** has left the chat_

**phip** : ew  
**tjeffs 2.0** : i really think that just because our dads hate each other, doesn't mean we have to  
**tjeffs 2.0** : i mean if you just give it a chance  
**phip** : ew  
**theodosia is Cool™** : philip i swear to god  
**phip** : BUT THEO  
**theodosia is Cool™** : >:(  
**tjeffs 2.0** : honestly theo i  
**phip** : OKAY FIRST OF FUCKING ALL  
**phip** : DO NOT /EVER/ ADDRESS MY GIRLFRIEND AS THEO  
**phip** : IT'S THEODOSIA HAMILTON-BURR TO YOU, YOU LIMP DICKED PUFFY HAIRED SWIVEL CHAIRED MACARONI FUCKER  
**phip** : SECONDLY BITCH

_**phip** was removed from the chat_

**best of wives and best of women** : i  
**tjeffs 2.0** : um

_**tjeffs 2.0** has left the chat_

**best of girls and best of gays** : guys  
**best of girls and best of gays** : i can hear crying from his room i don't know what to do guys help  
**best of girls and best of gays** : do i....do i help him or  
**theodosia is Cool™** : lol what  
**best of girls and best of gays** : _**[tommycrying.mp4]**_  
**theodosia is Cool™** : lmao fckn hell  
**best of wives and best of women** : ....so anyway for my birthday  
**best of wives and best of women** : that's me, theo, philip?  
**theodosia is Cool™** : idek  
**best of wives and best of women** : we'll add him anyway?, stephen, will, georges, thomas, lucy bby and thats it lol  
**theodosia is Cool™** : wait actually i was speakin to cat and she's flying in on wednesday so i mean  
**best of wives and best of women** : ...theo don't you dare

_**~and kitty~** was added to the chat_

**~and kitty~** : What is this?? x  
**theodosia is Cool™** : hey cat !!  
**~and kitty~** : Hiya Dosy!! x  
**theodosia is Cool™** : frances is havin a party for her 19th and we were wondering if you'd like to come? this saturday :)  
**~and kitty~** : Sure aha I'll be there!! Can't wait to see you guys again!! x  
**~and kitty~** : How long's it been haha?? x

_**~and kitty~** was removed from the chat_

**best of girls and best of gays** : _**[dontbefuckingrudekim.gif]**_  
**best of wives and best of women** : catharine is a fake ass hoe ass bitch i will be as rude as i fucking want son  
**theodosia is Cool™** : :(

_**theodosia is Cool™** has left the chat_

**best of wives and best of women** : lol  
**best of girls and best of gays** : frances  
**best of girls and best of gays** : i think my brother genuinely thinks we're going out  
**best of wives and best of women** : AHAHAHA  
**best of wives and best of women** : he's actually so stupid sometimes  
**best of wives and best of women** : what kind of foolishness

_**best of wives and best of women** has left the chat_

**best of girls and best of gays** : i wish we were

_**best of girls and best of gays** has left the chat_

_**chat deleted** _


	3. lucy's sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst and love confessions. poor lucy jefferson deserves none of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theodosia is the Mom Friend™ you wish you had.
> 
> theodosia is Cool™ = Theodosia Burr Alston = Theodosia "Theo" Burr  
> best of girls and best of gays = Lucy Elizabeth Jefferson

_**best of girls and best of gays >> theodosia is Cool™** _

**best of girls and best of gays** : theo  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : theo hel p  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : theo im literally crying rn  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : theo there are tears running down my face  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : t h e o d o s i a  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : ????  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : bubby are u ok ??  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i can't breathe  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : oh shit okay tell me what's wrong  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : swear you won't tell anybody  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : cross my heart n hope to die  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : ok  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i'm fucking gay  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : ya no shit sherlock  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : let me finish  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i'm gay  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : and i'm in love with frances  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : laurens???  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : yeah  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : and i'm so completely and utterly fucked   
**theodosia is Cool™** : oh Sweetie  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : oh Sweetie Sweetie Sweetie  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : ??  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : i'm so happy for you but i'm also so sorry  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : it's so good that you've got feelings for somebody   
**theodosia is Cool™** : but it's terrible that you've got feelings for the girl who's dating your brother  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : i know  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : nd idk what to do  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : how long ago did it start?  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : almost six months  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : before she started dating thomas?  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : why didn't you just tell her?  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : because for the first three i thought it was just a stupid girl crush. then she started dating thomas and i was heartbroken, like i literally stayed in my room and did nothing but cry and wish i was dead  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : and she asks me for advice on what to do for him and it kills me a little each time but i have to act like the loving little sister  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : and she probably sees me as a little sister too ffs  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : fuck  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : and i'm just so TIRED of this theo i  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : okay here's what you're gonna do  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : you're gonna take a nap   
**theodosia is Cool™** : and then you're gonna ignore her until her party  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : and after that we'll sort it out okay?  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : you sure?  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : positive  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : oka  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : everything will work out, i promise bb  
 **theodosia is Cool™** : go and rest, i love u luce   
**best of girls and best of gays** : oka, i love you more theo  
 **best of girls and best of gays** : thank you

_**best of girls and best of gays** has left the chat_   
_**theodosia is Cool™** has left the chat_

_**chat deleted** _


	4. operation say hi to the jeffersons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the hamilsquad 2.0 (minus frances, lucy, thomas, john and stephen) PLOT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theo's a snake don't trust her
> 
> theodosia is Cool™ = theo HAMILTON = Theodosia Burr  
> phip = Philip Hamilton  
> bread = Georges Washington de La Fayette  
> butter = William Mulligan

_**theodosia is Cool™ >> bread, butter, phip** _

_**theodosia is Cool™** changed chat name to **operation say hi to the jeffersons**_

**theodosia is Cool™** : hi gang  
**phip** : i hate the jeffersons  
**theodosia is Cool™** : ehh uncle thomas majorly fucked over my dad when he was running for mayor of new york but i don't have any beef w them  
**bread** : um ok  
**theodosia is Cool™** : so i know you are all wondering why i've created this chat  
**theodosia is Cool™** : FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS  
**theodosia is Cool™** : _**[LUCYSCONFESSION.jpeg]**_  
**phip** : HOLY  
**butter** : NO WAY  
**bread** : WHAT THEY SAID  
**theodosia is Cool™** : mhm  
**theodosia is Cool™** : so what we gotta do is think of a plan to get them together cause i lov lucy and tom is kind of a dick  
**phip** : i choked on my water reading the last six words  
**phip** : biggest understatement of 2016  
**theodosia is Cool™** : hush child  
**theodosia is Cool™** : so what r we gonna do ????  
**butter** : ooo me and georges have an idea  
**theodosia is Cool™** : hecka gross but ok spill  
**butter** : right so we get them both drunk at frances' party and then we play truth or dare !!!  
**bread** : and all the questions or dares we give them have to be related to each other somehow  
**theodosia is Cool™** : i like where this is going  
**bread** : at the end of the night there'll either be enough hostility or sexual tension to justify 7 minutes in heaven  
**theodosia is Cool™** : how will that do anything  
**butter** : i have a weighted bottle our dads used in their frat days  
**bread** : we've used it many a time  
**theodosia is Cool™** : noice  
**theodosia is Cool™** : oKAY CODE NAMES  
**theodosia is Cool™** : you will all address me as The Queen  
**theodosia is Cool™** : will is Been There Done That  
**theodosia is Cool™** : phil is Currently Doing That  
**theodosia is Cool™** : georges is If I Had To Pick Anyone  
**bread** : no offence but eew  
**butter** : we're too Gay™ for this  
**theodosia is Cool™** : none taken g, ur hot so // also "too gay for this" lol that wasn't your mentality when we fucked  
**butter** : IM  
**bread** : WILLIAM MULLIGAN  
**theodosia is Cool™** : m u l t i p l e t i m e s  
**phip** : WHAT  
**phip:** T H E O D O S I A B U R R  
**theodosia is Cool™** : it was before the winter's ball chill ur mantiddies  
**theodosia is Cool™** : so anyway frances is It Happened Once In A Dream  
**theodosia is Cool™** : lucy is We Experimented Once  
**theodosia is Cool™** : tjeffs jr is... Douchebag  
**phip** : there is a god  
**theodosia is Cool™** : everybody good w that ??  
**bread** : yhhhhhhjjjhhh  
**butter** : y  
**theodosia is Cool™** : how did you lose brain cells so fast  
**butter** : _**[YESFUCK.mp4]**_  
**butter** : f uck look how fcuking pret y my bb looks rid n me  
**theodosia is Cool™** : EW OH HELL NO  
**phip** : i  
**theodosia is Cool™** : sO ANYWAY philip you've been awfully quiet  
**theodosia is Cool™** : what do u think ??  
**phip** : i  
**phip** : theodosia burr, will you marry me?  
**theodosia is Cool™** : ya sure lmao  
**phip** : _**[fortheo.jpeg]**_  
**theodosia is Cool™** : om  
**theodosia is Cool™** : these cishet white boys play too much  
**theodosia is Cool™** : if ur playing then im breaking up w u  
**phip** : i'm not  
**theodosia is Cool™** : dONT PLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT BOI  
**phip** : is that a yes?  
**theodosia is Cool™** : um....yES U LIL SHIT I LOVE YOU  
**phip** : i love you more  
**theodosia is Cool™** : i love you most  
**phip** : i love you mostest  
**phip** : come over so we can see if it fits and i can give you the speech i prepared  
**theodosia is Cool™** : dEFINITELY ON MY WAY IM RUNNING OUT NOW  
**theodosia is Cool™** : oh btw guys operation say hi to the jeffersons is a GO  
**phip** : was it needed  
**theodosia is Cool™** : im a cool kid stfu  
**phip** : you're also a p cool fianceé  
**theodosia is Cool™** : FGSEJKLTYVS  
**theodosia is Cool™** : im ur p cool fianceé

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so to clarify, Philip actually proposed to Theo. like, fr. more about that in the next chapter!!
> 
> also: YESFUCK.mp4 is a ten second snapchat of angry sex between georges & will, like georges is pissed and bc they're the Ultimate Power Bottom™, they unleash that anger by riding will into oblivion
> 
> and then of course will sends the vid to the group bc georges totally has a praise kink (hence: "look how pretty my baby is") and a humiliation kink (sending the vid to the group)


	5. "burr, drink bleach"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the OG hamilsquad make a guest appearance, when eliza informs them about theodosia jr. and philip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yAAAY OG HAMILSQUAD IM SO HERE FOR THIS
> 
> theoBROsia = Theodosia Prevost Burr  
> eeellliiizzzaaa = Elizabeth "Eliza" "Betsey" Hamilton  
> a-a-ron = Aaron Burr  
> a. ham = Alexander Hamilton  
> angelicaaa = Angelica Schuyler Church  
> aND PEGGY = Margarita "Peggy" Schuyler van Rensselaer  
> HERCULES MULLIGAN = Hercules Mulligan  
> lafaYEET = Marquis de Lafayette  
> j. laur = John Laurens

_**eeellliiizzzaaa >> theoBROsia, a-a-ron, a. ham, angelicaaa, aND PEGGY, j. laur, HERCULES MULLIGAN, lafaYEET** _

**eeellliiizzzaaa** : GUYS IM S REAMING  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : FUCKING HELL  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : SEND HELP SEND AN AMBULANCE I AM DECEASED  
**angelicaaa** : ???  
**a. ham** : betsey have you been watching ellen again  
**a. ham** : the doctor told you that all the cute puppies do HAVOC on your blood pressure stop  
**aND PEGGY** : tag yourself im the doctor  
**lafaYEET** : tag yourself im betsey  
**j. laur** : im her blood pressure  
**theoBROsia** : im HAVOC  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : nOOOOOOOO  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : THEO JR AAND PHILIP  
**a-a-ron** : what has your son done to my clean pure virginal sweet only child  
**a-a-ron** : hamilton if he has defiled her innocence or her christian morals in any way then so help me god i will run you through with chopsticks  
**a. ham** : i rlly don't think you're the best here to talk about christian morals son  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : BURN  
**aND PEGGY** : BURN  
**j. laur** : BURN  
**angelicaaa** : SICK BURN  
**lafaYEET** : how you say... BURN  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : BURN  
**theoBROsia** : BURN  
**theoBROsia** : guys,,,, don't u mean,,,, BURR-N  
**a-a-ron** : wtf theo you're meant to be on my side  
**theoBROsia** : ,,,,anyway  
**lafaYEET** : tag yourself im aaron getting roasted  
**j. laur** : im theo  
**aND PEGGY** : im ",,,,anyway"  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : OKAY NO BUT SERIOUSLY  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : THEO JR AND PHILIP JUST CAME DOWNSTAIRS AND THERE'S A MASSIVE FUCKING RING ON HER FOURTH FINGER ON HER LEFT HAND  
**theoBROsia** : SENSATIONAL  
**a. ham** : WHAT  
**a-a-ron** : WHAT  
**aND PEGGY** : (in the butt)  
**a. ham** : THIS IS NOT THE TIME NOR THE PLACE MARGARITA  
**a-a-ron** : I AGREE MY WIFE AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OVER RIGHT NOW  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : the only thing they agree on  
**lafaYEET** : tag yourself im peggy  
**j. laur** : im theodosia  
**angelicaaa** : im eliza  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : im "I AGREE MY WIFE AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OVER RIGHT NOW"  
**aND PEGGY** : she said im obsessed w thick women and i agreeeee  
**j. laur** : THAT'S RIGHT I LIKE MY GIRLS BBW  
**aND PEGGY** : TYPE TO WANNA SUCC YOU DRY THEN EAT SOME LUNCH WITCHU  
**aND PEGGY** : john gimme the succ™  
**angelicaaa** : peggy ur like 7 stfu  
**lafaYEET** : damn angelica back at it again with the condescending attitude  
**angelicaaa** : damn lafayette back at it again with the dead memes  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : BURN  
**j. laur** : BURN  
**aND PEGGY** : BURN  
**theoBROsia** : BURN  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : BURN  
**aND PEGGY** : lol ellie whats actually going on have aaron and alex killed each other yet  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : nah not yet  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : they're just glaring at each other and sipping chamomile tea periodically  
**theoBROsia** : philip looks so uncomfortable n theo looks like she's about to cry ??? this is hilarious  
**theoBROsia** : okay lol im livetweeting this shit  
**lafaYEET** : GO GO GO  
**theoBROsia** : alex: "philip when were you going to bring up the mere idea of proposing to theo?"  
philip: "preferably never ??? cause i knew you'd overreact christ"  
alex: "overreact ???? me ??? betsey i'm clearly going mad why is your child saying i'm overreacting"  
**aND PEGGY** : this is golden  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : ^^^  
**theoBROsia** : eliza: "i mean he has a point"  
alex: "you're all plotting against me and i will not stand for this"  
aaron (side comment to me and theo jr): "at least i would never be so IRRATIONAL as to—"  
me: "aaron you LITERALLY said you would run alex through with chopsticks shut your mouth"  
theo jr, eliza, alex and philip simultaneously (freaky shit lol): "BURN"  
aaron: "i love you why are you like this"  
me: "savagery is in my nature son get rekt"  
**angelicaaa** : im always here for drama  
**j. laur** : same  
**theoBROsia** : also me (after lots of silence): "no but for real i wholeheartedly support theo and philip like me and aaron married for love so im like not against it??"  
eliza: "same damn"  
alex is glaring at aaron and aaron is glaring at alex like if looks could kill  
aaron: "i don't support my daughter becoming a hamilton"  
theo has literal tears in her eyes oh MY SWEET BABY  
**lafaYEET** : #ProtectTheoJrAtAllCosts2k16  
**theoBROsia** : on GOD laf i will defend this child till my last dying breath fuck everybody else  
alex: "wELL I DO SO THAT MAKES ME A BETTER DAD HA"  
aaron looks over at theo: "oh shit no theo not like that i mean is he good enough for you???? i want you to have the best life possible" ME AND ELIZA JUST LOOKED AT EACH OTHER THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT  
theo: "dad i love him and he makes me happy ??? he's good enough for me ??? please"  
philip: "sir i may be a hamilton but i can assure you that i take after my mother in most aspects—"  
alex: "im going insane"  
philip: "—and i promise to do my best by theo no matter what, and my best might not be good enough sometimes but i'll try as hard as i darn well can, and as long as i'm alive, theo, you'll never feel helpless, like ever"  
**aND PEGGY** : MY HEART IM CRYINH  
**j. laur** : im not crying there's just a ghost chopping onions in my apartment  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : same tbh  
**theoBROsia** : theo just got up and sat next to philip and took his hand bc he's shaking and he kissed her hand and somebody pls arrange my funeral im gone  
THEY'RE WHISPERING I LOVE YOUS AND FUCK IF IM NOT IN TEARS  
eliza: "alexander how can you stop this they're clearly in love"  
me: "aaron leave them be, honestly they're so in love with each other get OVER your petty ass hatred for his father and realise that philip is not alexander !!!!"  
**lafaYEET** : *five clapping emojis*  
**angelicaaa** : *five clapping emojis*  
**aND PEGGY** : *five clapping emojis*  
**j. laur** : *five clapping emojis*  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : *five clapping emojis*  
**theoBROsia** : they both look so defeated  
alex (to aaron): "truce?"  
aaron: "no way in hell, you little bitch. but i can't stop young love no matter how hard i try. philip, theodosia, i give you my blessing."  
ELIZA JUST FUCKING CHEERED  
eliza: "....alex ??"  
alex: "i give you my blessing as well. burr, drink bleach"  
aaron: "YOU FIRST"  
me: "THATS ENOUGH"  
**angelicaaa** : alex why  
**j. laur** : aaron why  
**lafaYEET** : i love you american fuckers  
**theoBROsia** : we're on our way home that was wild  
**theoBROsia** : theo's texting him in the taxi, her face is lighting up it is the Cutest™  
**theoBROsia** : _**[theojrtexts.jpeg]**_  
**a. ham** : i hate aaron burr  
**a-a-ron** : i hate alexander hamilton  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : oh please  
**aND PEGGY** : just fuck already  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : hate sex ftw  
**theoBROsia** : ^^  
**a. ham** : eliza wtf  
**a-a-ron** : theo wtf  
**angelicaaa** : _**[rihannahand.gif]**_  
**lafaYEET** : I LOVE THIS MEME  
**j. laur** : BYE  
**aND PEGGY** : angelica is my favorite sister  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : fuck you margarita  
**aND PEGGY** : angelica is my joint favorite sister with eliza  
**eeellliiizzzaaa** : :-)  
**HERCULES MULLIGAN** : you're all meme fuckers im g o n e

**Author's Note:**

> there'll probably be more coming im sorry


End file.
